Oct 14, 1998, 8:20pm

Well wasn't that exciting! Okay, maybe not.

In case you missed it, (and god knows, over 120 million web users did), I ran my first serial on these pages the past four issues. It all began when I finally hunkered down and read Catcher in the Rye - that book that every schoolboy (with emphasis on the word boy) supposedly reads when they are in High School. I didn't. I don't know why, but I just didn't.

I sure am glad I finally read it when I did, because I think it's a book that loses a lot of meaning the older you are when you read it. I think I was on the fringe of thinking it was useless banter... it took me almost the entire book to "get it". But get it I did.

I was influenced enough by the book to write my own version of Catcher in the Rye. I serial'ed the raw story here in this rant. If you did miss it, part one is here, part two is over there in the corner, part three is hiding behind that tree, and part four is brash enough to sit on your lap.

Now I can talk a bit about that raw version. It definitely took on a life of its own, and because of that it didn't go where I wanted it to. Not that it was bad, per se, just that it didn't go where I thought it would when I started writing it.

You see, the original Catcher can be described, IMO, in one rather stale phrase - fear and loathing. Holden just felt like he didn't belong. He didn't have a clue as to what he was going to do with his life and this was brought to us in the relatively short capsule of his three lost days in New York City. But this was not the result of three days in the life of Holden. Nope. It was the result of years of buildup, and the author helps us along with this in Holden's dialogue. Holden was very quick to jump from subject to subject, and he was equally quick to go off on a tangent. With these tangents we get a feel for the pain Holden has suffered in his life.

And don't get me wrong. I don't have a lot of sympathy for Holden's "pain"... after all he basically had to deal with the stuff most of us deal with when growing up. But he did suffer pain that to him was pretty dear.

And now to end my own variety of a tangent, I wanted to present the story I was writing in the same way I was readin Catcher in the Rye - no real resolutions... just the hint of one. I should have stopped at the moment Elyned opened my eyes to what I wanted to do in the future, but I didn't - mainly because I felt the urge to finish the story. But I think that was wrong - one of my personal joys from Catcher in the Rye is that the resolution is never definite, even at the very end. You aren't sure what Holden will do, but you think you know. You think that maybe everything will be all right.

So as a personal project (gee, I have a few of those, don't I?) I'm going to rewrite the thing to gear it into my own maybe conclusion. I'll be racking my brains to remember more of the personal angsts and "I don't give a shit" feelings I had at the time. I'm going to try to write the story the way I originally intended to.

Hey, one side note - notice I said I had to rack my brains to remember some of those feelings? I think that's the core reason why Holden's tale doesn't effect people who are well into their thirties (or even late twenties). We simply forget most of that stuff - maybe because we feel our own version of emotional pain and stress are much greater than the angsts we suffered as teenagers. I know I look back on that time as a good time overall... almost no feelings of angst. No sir.

Okay, enough on that. Except for one more thing. I kind of like the idea of serializing a story now and then... I know some of you don't like it much - in fact, I got a few comments that I should stick to what brought you to this tiny show - my bitching and ranting... but I was always fascinated by the fact that so many of Dickens' stories were serialized in newspapers long before they were published in book form. Same goes for that Arthur Conan Doyle guy, (did he write Tarzan, Sherlock Holmes, or both?) and other famous 19th and early 20th century writers. Even Frankenstein was serialized!

Not that I'm anywhere near their league - far from it - I just like the idea of serialized stories. That's all!

Now for some completely different shit, but strangely related to the whole Holden / Catcher in the Rye thing. I currently sitting at Calhoun's on West Broadway in Vancouver, and it's late. It is pretty much empty in here, and I just finished a lengthy conversation with Jessica, a 19 year old person who works here. The subject was Europe. More specifically, the subjects were my time there in the past, and her time there in the near future.

This woman is absolutely juiced about the trip. I could just tell by the sparkle in her eyes, the tone of her voice. She has been planning this for eons, and she's working two full time jobs just to save up for it.

I've been there. I remember that enthusiasm. I remember the anticipation... oh boy do I ever remember that. I couldn't wait for University to end to go. I left a career-making, high paying job to go. I never regretted it. It was the best time of my life, pretty much.

Meanwhile, Jessica is going through that now. She's working hard, sweeping the floors here as I speak, and I can just tell she's got visions of what's in store for her over there. She's been reading up on it big time, she told me, and when the subject was on, she could barely stop from asking me just about every question imaginable...

"Where did you go? Really? Was it just too cool? What's that like? Where? Oh man... I can't wait! That's what I want to do. Wow. I am so looking forward to this. What was that place like? 2 months? Get out! Get right out! That is totally.... You know, you're so lucky. I can't wait!"

Ah man. In the words of Adam Sandler, what the fuck has happened to me. I used to have that kind of enthusiasm over things. Now the only times I get juiced over things is when I get a new modem, or if I happen to catch a show on one of those guy things - like air fighters or world war two battleships. If I get a project done before it's due, I get really juiced - watch out!

Pretty fuckin' sad. :-) But... you can't go back. You always got to go on, find new things that actually have meaning in your life, and have direction not only in your life, but your emotional development. I think this whole Holden thing, plus Jessica kind of show me you should never settle for less... never really become complacent.

And on that note... thanks for stoppin' by!

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Mixelania

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