Ode to Heather Heather Earle was probably my best friend in my life, before I met Jeanette. I met Heather, along with her friends Claire and Janet, when they crashed a party we were having at our party house we had in our first year of University. Heather and I hit it off pretty much right away, and it was about a week later that I found out she was only 16! (Well, it was shocking to me at the time, since I was 19). Prejudices crept in, and I remained aloof for quite a while after that. Heather and her friends kept coming around though, and about a half year later, after Heather turned 17, I got to know her better. One thing about her that I learned quickly is that she had the most amazing heart of anyone I've ever known. Over the following summer, Heather and I hung out more and more, having all sorts of discussions. Heather came with me often to Cafe Wim, where I taught her how to play backgammon (and then she proceeded to beat me regularly) and we often talked about the meaning of life and other non-sensical issues. I became very close with Heather after a relationship I was going through really fizzled and hurt me. Heather was the most supportive person in my life at that point, and I came to rely on our friendship more and more during this point. She helped me through a very rough time in my life, and I can't thank her enough for that. When my other friends were moving away, finishing up university, going to Europe and Australia, Heather was like a rock in my life. During this period of our relationship, I truly believe Heather changed me for the better. Prior to knowing her, I was in frequent physical altercations of one sort or another, I didn't give a damn about social or racial issues, and I didn't really care too much about anyone but myself. During our 4+ year friendship, Heather profoundly changed my views and my attitude, and I bet, to this day, she doesn't even realise this. In her, I saw sweetness, caring, and compassion, traits I had little of. There were countless nights in my car, coming back from some cafe, or bar, or club, or from where she worked (I often gave her a lift) that we would sit and just talk about all sorts of issues... and sometimes, just talk about absolutely nothing. One thing I remember very well is the two of us listening to a Concrete Blonde song. I forget the title now, but it's a song about a woman hurt, and living her life through hurt. I remember us analyzing that song to death, then just sitting and enjoying it. Those were great times. For the longest time I have felt that Heather was meant to be my friend, because she appeared in my life at just the right time. She kind of made me whole, made me what I am in many respects. Sometimes these days, when I find myself doing some bonehead thing, a weird thought pops into my head - "would Heather approve?". I know it's weird, and Jeanette surely would think so, but in a way, Heather's become my conscience, setting me on the right path. I'm sure I'm glossing over a lot of things that actually happened, thanks to the deficiencies of long term memories, but that's what she's like for me today. Sure, she had her faults, but she was the nicest person I've ever known, up until I met Jeanette. Near the end of my relationship with Heather, she was dating a friend of mine, Joel. I felt strangely jealous about this whole thing, even though I played a major part in getting the two of them together. I guess I felt that Joel was somehow "stealing" Heather away from me. Soon after that time, Heather went off to Trent University, and I went off to Europe. It was then I lost touch with her. Oh, for a while, we exchanged letters, especially when I was still in Ottawa, but after I went to Europe, we totally lost touch, and I can't help but think that was one of the worst things to ever happen in my life. It's hard for me to write this part, because not too many days go by that I don't think about her. I had strong feelings of affection for her, and I don't think she ever realised this. Some of my male friends have often bugged me about my relationship with Heather, saying that I lusted after her, but this was never true. I don't have any sisters, and that's what she was to me... a sister, and one I cherished for a time. I guess it's sometimes hard for other males to understand this kind of love. She was one of the major influences in my life, and I hope she knows that. Somehow, I think she does. I have made many efforts to track her down in the past few years, but to no avail. She isn't on the internet, and I couldn't verify that she even lives in Ottawa anymore. One day I hope to get in contact with her again, and I hope we can resume our friendship. She meant a lot to me, and she still means a lot to me. I really miss her. Back to personal stuff.

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